Einstein

 (1) Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." 

(2) When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"

(3)Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"

(4)When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognize him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.

(5)Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.' Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.' Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'

6) When Einstein met Charlie Chaplin:

Einstein said, 

What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... the world understands you.

“It's true,” replied Charlie Chaplin, 

But your fame is even greater: The world nadmires you, when nobody understands you."

Pun and Wit intended!

1 . How does an attorney sleep? 

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side

2. "I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

3. I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

4. How do you make holy water? 

You boil the hell out of it

5. When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

6. Will glass coffins be a success? 

Remains to be seen

7. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

8. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? 

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

9. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

10. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

12. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? 

A maybe

13. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. 

I lost my case

14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

15. A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils

16. She had a photographic memory but never developed it

17. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

18. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

19. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

20. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

21. Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

22. The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

23. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

24. Need an ark? I Noah guy

25. I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

26. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

27. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus

Secret of happiness that we can learn from a good dog

 Secret of happiness that we can learn from a good dog.

WHY DOGS LIVE LESS THAN HUMAN

Here's the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife

Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform

the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the

procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old

dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully

away

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's

Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that dogs' lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly,

piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It

has changed the way I try and live.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"

The six-year-old continued,

"Well, dogs already know how to do that, they don't have to stay for as long as we do."

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

• When your loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

. Take naps.

. Stretch before rising.

• Run, romp, and play daily.

• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

· Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

· Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

. Be faithful.

• Never pretend to be something you're not.

• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

That's the secret of happiness that we can learn from a good dog.

Courtesy: Facebook page of Being Woman

Good deeds, Real happiness

 

Focus to get big picture

 

Helping people...

 

Money vs Health

 

Health tips for pains

 DID YOU KNOW?

Our belly button (NABHI )  is an amazing gift given to us by our creator. A 62 year old man had poor vision in his left eye. He could hardly see especially at night and was told by eye specialists that his eyes were in a good condition but the only problem was that the veins supplying blood to his eyes were dried up and he would never be able to see again. 

According to Science, the first part created after conception takes place is the belly button. After it’s created, it joins to the mother’s placenta through the umbilical chord.  

Our belly button is surely an amazing thing! According to science, after a person has passed away, the belly button is still warm for 3 hours the reason being that when a woman conceives a child, her belly button supplies nourishment to the child through the child’s belly button. And a fully grown child is formed in 270 days = 9 months. 

This is the reason all our veins are connected to our belly button which makes it the focal point of our body. Belly button is life itself! 

The “PECHOTI” is situated behind the belly button which has 72,000 plus veins over it. The total amount of blood vessels we have in our body are equal to twice the circumference of the earth.

Applying oil to belly button CURES dryness of eyes, poor eyesight, pancreas over or under working, cracked heels and lips, keeps face glowing, shiny hair, knee pain, shivering, lethargy, joint pains, dry skin. 

*REMEDY For dryness of eyes, poor eyesight, fungus in nails, glowing skin, shiny hair*

At night before bed time, put 3 drops of pure ghee or coconut oil in your belly button and spread it 1 and half inches around your belly button. 

 

*For knee pain* 

At night before bed time, put 3 drops of castor oil in your belly button and spread it 1 and half inches around your belly button.

*For shivering and lethargy, relief from joint pain, dry skin* 

At night before bed time, put 3 drops of mustard oil in your belly button and spread it 1 and half inches around your belly button.

*WHY PUT OIL IN YOUR BELLY BUTTON?*

You belly button can detect which veins have dried up and pass this oil to it hence open them up.

When a baby has a stomach ache, we normally mix asafoetida (hing) and water or oil and apply around the naval. Within minutes the ache is cured. Oil works the same way.

Try it. There's no harm in trying.

You can keep a small dropper bottle with the required oil next to your bed and drop few drops onto navel and massage it before going to sleep. This will make it convenient to pour and avoid accidental spillage.

I am forwarding this valuable and very useful information received from a very good friend. Its really amazing. A million thanks to the friend. Happy to share it with friends.

Regards

Dr. Ajay dubey

Assistant professor

MDNIY AYUSH MINISTRY

Govt. Of India.

Learn new words... interesting!

 

Happiness secret